Liar

Okay, so I lied.

I have told myself that I am happy when I am oh so obviously not happy. I actually feel as though I am falling apart inside. Medication can't keep the negative thought from entering my head. It can't keep the 'what-ifs' away.

I don't feel that I am a difficult person. I don't ask for a lot. I know that I am unable to make my husband happy right now, though. I think he has basically given up on our marriage. He is just waiting for me to leave. I have tried to work on myself but it doesn't seem to be enough. I want my relationship with God to be first and foremost. I need that. Sean on the other hand seems to push God away more and more.

Neither of us are being good examples to our children either. I think they see that, too. It makes me sad.

We are in a bad place right now. I am going to try to hold it together, though. I am going to pray. I am going to trust in God and seek his guidance. I have to make my marriage work. I know this is His will.

Liar

Faster than you think

School starts around here in just over three weeks now. I believe I almost have the kids curriculum finished.

Almost.

I'm getting excited, though!

We're going to give preschool a shot this year as well. Boy am I nervous about that! Little miss KK is such a firecracker and so so smart. I feel like I need to do something to keep that little brain stimulated. It's going to be so much fun!!

ABC pages are printing as I type this.

We are doing a free preparatory program that I found online. And who doesn't like free! It's called Brightly Beaming Resources. I love this site. It just makes no sense to me to pay so much for school and curriculum when you can learn plenty for free or very cheap! Even for my older kids. The library is full of books. Wonderful, paper books. The kids will be reading plenty of classic books. Some that I don't even think I've read yet! I guess I better get on that. He he

I am using a site that seems to loosely follow the Charlotte Mason method. It's called Old Fashion Education. I love it as well! Our math program is free also. The only things left to get are science and a Texas History curriculum. Both Sage and Raiden want to do Texas History and I found an awesome curriculum for just over $100. I'm sure Rai will want to go over it again at some point and it will also work great for Kaitlan.

I am getting much more confident in my ability to home school the kids. I still want to focus on our work a lot, but want to try to branch out more and add some activities that we may have missed out on last year. We already signed up for 4-H and need to get started on building a rabbit hutch.

Rabbits. Oh boy.

Okay, I have got to get back on task! I want to make sure I have everything ready when the day comes. Wish me luck!!

Faster than you think